I'm less new than I was. The area of the city that I regularly walk is becoming familiar, I'm aware of being at the cusp of not looking so intently, at staging my way with landmarks and personal way-markers of things I've noticed. My walk can also be timed by the passing of familiar but unknown people at particular times of the day.
These past few months have been stressful, more so than I was expecting. Its been an odd time of limbo. As if I'm waiting for my life to start, soon I'll be busy and plugged into the city, with work, with friends, with my own memories being laid unseen upon the topography of streets. But for now these notions are of a future I've yet to meet, as if unseen ghosts are haunting this future and yet to take form.
On one level I love this time, (practically though, not earning money is just plain crap!) but sometimes I allow myself to feel the energy of being unknown, incognito, that at least my future is not planned out, I really do not know what tomorrow will bring.
A familiar refrain from people I meet who ask 'Why Sheffield?', is that I am brave and I somehow find this hard to take in. On many levels I am brave, I'm a freelancer and have never had a regular income my entire adult life. Though I may not have the possessions of others I own a flexibility and resourcefulness that has provided me with an abundant life in many ways. Sometimes change is the only path, by turning a situation on its head old doors close, new doors open and having faith that it will all work out is a mantra worth repeating. AND staying where I was wasn't an option.
These past few months have been stressful, more so than I was expecting. Its been an odd time of limbo. As if I'm waiting for my life to start, soon I'll be busy and plugged into the city, with work, with friends, with my own memories being laid unseen upon the topography of streets. But for now these notions are of a future I've yet to meet, as if unseen ghosts are haunting this future and yet to take form.
On one level I love this time, (practically though, not earning money is just plain crap!) but sometimes I allow myself to feel the energy of being unknown, incognito, that at least my future is not planned out, I really do not know what tomorrow will bring.
A familiar refrain from people I meet who ask 'Why Sheffield?', is that I am brave and I somehow find this hard to take in. On many levels I am brave, I'm a freelancer and have never had a regular income my entire adult life. Though I may not have the possessions of others I own a flexibility and resourcefulness that has provided me with an abundant life in many ways. Sometimes change is the only path, by turning a situation on its head old doors close, new doors open and having faith that it will all work out is a mantra worth repeating. AND staying where I was wasn't an option.
