For the last few days I've walked miles around Walthamstow, moving through, searching out, looking at and talking to friends and strangers. While walking the city being asked for money is a common experience, but when to give and when to withhold? Recently I've visited a Buddhist centre and am learning about meditation and Buddhist beliefs. I've understood that life is a series of experiences and opportunities to practice patience, kindness and giving to those who express need. Opening my heart to love all no matter what others do or don't do... I'm sitting with this, attempting to remain open, allowing these ideas to seep through my resistance and reasonings.
Yesterday, while getting my bearings by a bus stop a man began talking to me. He was a middle aged fellow wearing a threadbare suit and clutching a bible, this appeared to be his only possession. He was distressed and in an african accent told me he was an engineer and that he hadn't had anywhere to sleep or anything to eat for three days. I gave him a few pounds and he sped off saying, 'I'll get something to eat'. What struck me was how quickly he walked away, he was genuinely hungry. I've wondered about him since, wishing I'd given more money, wondering if his story was true (not wanting to be a mug, be ripped off), knowing in my gut something has gone very wrong for him. As he walked away he said, 'God bless you', this touched me because in my giving to him he gave to me, wishing me blessed. My wish for him is a roof over his head and warm food in his belly. Whatever this mans story no one wants to beg for money, to be reliant on the kindness of strangers.
