Mum on holiday in her youth, in a skirt she made
It is now a full year since Mum and I walked down Pyrles Lane, hopping on the 20 bus and sharing our last walk along Loughton High Road together, before going to Morrison's for her weekly food shop. It was a bright and chilly autumn day, from the bus stop next to Molen's cafe we walked to the zebra crossing, then up to Halifax bank. Mum wanted a statement and to withdraw £200 from her account. I walked her to a comfortable seat, then queued at the cash machine. Glancing at her sitting patiently, I was glad she was safe and had my sister and I to trust in. Having her pin number and money at my fingertips I thought of all the older/vulnerable people with untrustworthy relatives, and felt the honour of her trust. I returned to her, gave her the statement and cash and shared my thoughts. During these moments I sensed this would be the last time we would do these everyday things together.
A few doors from the bank is M&Co, we went there as Mum enjoyed looking at fashion. When she was younger she made her own clothes and is so stylish in photos of that time. As kids she knitted us jumpers and cardigans, teaching me to knit in her own loopy way. In M&Co Mum bought herself a hat and gloves. The gloves were made of a blue checked fabric and I tried them on and found them short in the fingers, but Mum was happy with them. I have my mothers hands, sometimes we used to place out hands next to each other and marvel at their match, when I look at them I think of her, especially as I age. The hat was a soft peaked cap in a mottled grey fabric with discrete velvet bow on the right side, it suited her, and of course, I tried it too. Mum went to the till and paid.
The hat is one of the items I keep in a memory box of her belongings, it has significance for me. Mum wore it once, the day in December when we walked to the doctors surgery on Pyrles Lane, her lower legs red, hot and swollen. It was at this appointment that blood tests were first suggested to understand the cause of the swelling. I remember her being incredibly tired when we got in, she had done so well in walking almost a mile.
