Public transport has provided me with random opportunities to meet people whom I would never have encountered any other way. One such meeting occurred recently and the strangers words have stayed with me, providing food for thought and impacting on friends I’ve shared the story with.
On a beautiful summer like day in early April I was waiting for the 379 in Bristol bus station, we were informed that the bus had broken down so had half an hour until the next one. I passed the time chatting to a woman who had sat next to me, it turned out that Caroline was an ex Londoner too, had moved to Surrey and then to Glastonbury five years previously. Before the move she had worn an engagement ring for fifteen years to keep suiters away. Caroline has always known she didn’t want children and that she herself had been a mistake, none the less she had been loved and had happy memories of childhood. In Glastonbury she decided the time had come to remove the ring and see what happened.
Caroline told me she really wanted a job in the local bookshop so popped in and asked about vacancies. There were none but she left her details. The following week she was called in for a trial run, offered four days a week, then a further two days in another bookshop owned by her boss. So happy, busy and at the centre of town life she was in a great position to meet the community. In the bookshop she got chatting too a man who had recently retuned to Glastonbury and eight months later they were married in the local registry office. Marriage had never been an ambition, so at 50 to be walking down the aisle was a complete surprise. She had met her soul mate and felt free and very happy. Removing the symbol of being taken had opened Caroline up to try new things, to embrace opportunity, to see what happens if... Her advice to me was to put it out there, ask the universe, get stroppy and don’t give up.
Her words got me thinking about my own wants and if/how I name and voice them. Also to consider the invisible physiological engagement rings each of us wear, not necessarily tying us to a partner, but tying us to a past, a limiting belief, an outmoded idea of ourselves that no one in our current life would recognise. The ways of being that allow us to survive the past are no longer needed today, we (hopefully) update our hair, clothes and interiors but do we ever spring clean and challenge our belief patterns? Do they still suit us? Are they useful? Could they be limiting us in some way?
