singhsbury's

This got me chuckling the other day, camera-less, I vowed to return and take a picture. Last week I saw another corker of a shop front on Leyton High Road, again without my camera so planning a return trip to record the wonder! Note to self - take camera everywhere...

smoke and mirrors

My little sister reached the big four-oh in early January and we braced ourselves for a chilly trip to the beautiful city of Edinburgh. Staying just off the Leith Road I had Sunshine on Leith running through my head... tis a good song, a located song and I was within its sphere of influence (do you remember that in geography?), so happy to serenade myself.

We walked for miles throughout the city and beyond in what turned out to be unseasonably mild weather. The festive illuminations at night and the new-ish phenomena of using light to alter places was a delight. I loved the trees picked out in specks of white light on the horizon, becoming drawings, negatives of themselves against the winter dark. We visited the Camera Obscura, fascinating and engaging in parts, mostly tired looking. We got our monies worth out if bendy mirrors, body outlines captured by flashes of light that gradually faded, tricks with perspective and a room that appeared to be full of stars reaching into the far distance...

We gazed up at the big wheel during our visit but never had a spin. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIS!

  

scotland

Last month I visited the places my father and his family came from: Elgin, Bernie, Lossiemouth and Burghead. These villages and towns are by the Moray Firth, along the North East coast of Scotland. The Moray Firth delineates the outermost edges of habitat for dolphins to survive (but not thrive) and the Aurora Borealis has been seen from this coast, it is a beautiful place. If you drew a straight line east from Elgin you would arrive at the southern tip of Norway, somewhere I was lucky enough to visit last year and the echo of Scotland was apparent in the landscape (and visa versa). I feel a strong connection to these lands and have a sense of home and belonging when I'm there. This trip was about creating space to be in, look at and experience by walking around and about. This time I was drawn to historic religious buildings and the particular vernacular of this region, structure, history, solid things that will outlive me.

I've visited this region of Scotland since I was a toddler, the agricultural landscape is in my blood somehow, the towns, the lanes, the skies, the deep rich soil, the scattered farms, the distilleries. To be there helps me in my understanding and communication with those who have gone before, my flesh and blood. Though it may sound romantic it's not particularly, I can understand that it was a hard life for them eking out their livings in these places and surviving two world wars. The other side of the coin is that they must have also experienced beauty in their lives and lived the spirit of these landscapes. They would have felt its power and their own power too.

Looking up from Elgin Cemetery

Elgin Cemetery - in memory of their children

Elgin Cathedral

Elgin Cathedral

Elgin Cathedral

Cathedral tombstone

Spynie Palace

 View towards Lossiemouth from Spynie

 Elgin

 Elgin

 Burghead

 Cooper Park, Elgin

   Pluscarden Abbey

dad

A days walking ritual from Elgin to Lossiemouth and back in forgiveness and in honour of my father Robert Logan. 

wooly thinking

knitting - pattern - mapping

anxiety - belonging - getting lost - getting found

solace in the familiar

in making

in creating

doing what I know I can

not thinking too hard

seeing the impact of time and skill

a stitch for a step

a way to avoid and hide

a way to find myself

to feel the ache of sitting too long

to imagine the next project while working on this one

the wool 

a line 
that will guide me out of the dark forest

a trail of bread to be eaten by birds

an escape route

a rhythm 

a beat 

a measure

not in use

While walking to the market I saw an older lady with a full shopping bag waiting at a bus stop, from my vantage point I could see the neon orange hood that had been placed over the bus stop sign THIS BUS STOP IS NOT IN USE. Assuming that the lady had seen the sign and was waiting for someone to come out of the nearby shop I almost walked past her. When level with her I asked if she was waiting for the bus, she said yes, so pointing up I showed her the sign. The lady was crestfallen, she had a walking stick and I felt very sorry for her as she began to walk to the next stop some distance away. She said ‘oh, this is not good for me’. How long had she been standing there? How many people had walked past making the same assumption I toyed with? A small thing incident, a chance to help another and a wish that I could have whisked her up and taken her to her destination.

giving

For the last few days I've walked miles around Walthamstow, moving through, searching out, looking at and talking to friends and strangers. While walking the city being asked for money is a common experience, but when to give and when to withhold? Recently I've visited a Buddhist centre and am learning about meditation and Buddhist beliefs. I've understood that life is a series of experiences and opportunities to practice patience, kindness and giving to those who express need. Opening my heart to love all no matter what others do or don't do... I'm sitting with this, attempting to remain open, allowing these ideas to seep through my resistance and reasonings.

Yesterday, while getting my bearings by a bus stop a man began talking to me. He was a middle aged fellow wearing a threadbare suit and clutching a bible, this appeared to be his only possession. He was distressed and in an african accent told me he was an engineer and that he hadn't had anywhere to sleep or anything to eat for three days. I gave him a few pounds and he sped off saying, 'I'll get something to eat'. What struck me was how quickly he walked away, he was genuinely hungry. I've wondered about him since, wishing I'd given more money, wondering if his story was true (not wanting to be a mug, be ripped off), knowing in my gut something has gone very wrong for him. As he walked away he said, 'God bless you', this touched me because in my giving to him he gave to me, wishing me blessed. My wish for him is a roof over his head and warm food in his belly. Whatever this mans story no one wants to beg for money, to be reliant on the kindness of strangers.